LDR.. The Big Scary Monster?

Why do people always go "Whoa!! What? Why?" 😱 etc when you mention you're in a LDR (Long Distance Relationship). LDR is hard! That's a fact everybody agrees to, but why is it hard? Why is it that people are ready to give up on relationships as soon as there's distance involved? Is holding hands and other physical contact the most important factors in a relationship? Haha.. you thought I had answers to all these questions, nope! I'm just as clueless as y'all are. 😅

Nonetheless, rant, based on personal feelings, commences in 3..2..1..💥 I think LDR has been stereotyped into this big scary monster. The very thought of it freaks people out. It's like they've mentally prepared themselves for a breakup. I think, from personal experience and many case studies (friends in relationships), LDR is a lot of work but if you put your heart into it, it will work.🤞

Granted, LDR is not for everyone, there is a certain "target audience''. There are people (by which i mean both men and women) who need constant attention and reassurance, these people are not meant to be in a long distance relationship. That is mostly a disaster waiting to happen. I've watched people crack under the pressure and scrutiny of the relationship but I've also seen people glide through it throwing all caution to the wind. I guess it all depends on the perspective you take and how willing you are to go through with it. I considered myself to be a cool cucumber with not a care in the world. Oh boy was I wrong!😅 I want space and I can give space, But I love being clingy. It's just pure undiluted joy to know and have someone who gives you their time when you need it. Yes I know, I know! Being clingy is not healthy. And I strongly dissuade everybody (including myself), so stop it RIGHT NOW. But when you can't meet the person you 'L word' video calls, calls or receiving a texts from them means so much. Those are basically the pillars your relationship stands on. That being said, the whole "If they love you, they'll make time for you" is not always true. Sometimes, you are just busy, it has to be understood and accepted. You can't always expect their life to revolve around you. That's just plain old selfish and egocentric, just saying.🤷

So here's my final thought, maybe LDR is not the scary monster here. Maybe it's us or it could be the fact that you're just not as invested as you thought you were and that's okay. You are allowed to make mistakes (let's really try not to hurt others with our mistakes), you are allowed to break up if that's what's best for you. Because dragging out a relationship just because you do not want to be the one to initiate the breakup, is going to make your partner lose their respect for you. Once respect is lost, there is no hope, all is lost. Don't always worry about hurting others, you're important too.You do you! 💪


Until next time... Cheers!