I Still Remember ..

I remember, the first time
sour in my throat like lime,
too young to comprehend
too weak to defend.

I remember, how it felt,
reassured, comforted and dirty.
A caged lil' birdie,
left there to cry and melt.

I remember, the second and the third,
just laid there as the world blurred.
Normal, to me, a little girl,
emotions all up in a whirl.

I remember, seeing him again
fear coursed like physical pain.           
He smiled and reached out,
memories I try to shutout.

I remember, to this day
every hug, every kiss,
a dark wall of grey
spiraling me into an abyss.